He was the son of John Olmstead Lay (1779-1840) and Lucy Anna May (1802-1832). His children not listed below were: David McCaw Lay (born circa 1851), Caroline Lay (born circa 1861) and Anna Fitzhugh Lay (born circa 1869). He attended the University of Virginia and was an attorney and judge in Powhatan County, Maryland before the Civil War. After the war, he worked for the Life Insurance Company of Virginia and later lived in Florida raising oranges until 1900, when he returned to Richmond due to bad health.
Civil War Career:
1861: Lt. Powhatan Cavalry Militia
1861: Served as Gen. Beauregard’s Headquarters Guard
1862: Resigned as Captain on April 29, 1862
1862: Captain & Assistant Adjutant to Gen. Beauregard
1862: Appointed as Colonel of 6th Confederate Cavalry
1862: Not reelected to Colonel at reorganization
1863 – 1865: Assistant Adjutant & Inspector General rank: Major Inspector of Cavalry Department of S.C. GA and Florida troops